


Behind Closed Doors

by oHmYGoDitSRobErtDowNEyjR



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Deceit Sanders, Angst, Anxiety, Everyone Needs A Hug, One Shot, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-15 07:36:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19608823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oHmYGoDitSRobErtDowNEyjR/pseuds/oHmYGoDitSRobErtDowNEyjR
Summary: The angstiest of angst. This is literally so sad.





	Behind Closed Doors

Roman is tired. Not physically, so much- more just tired of life. It takes so much energy for him to put up his act now. When they first started appearing in videos, Roman took pleasure in his role. He was the hero. Now, everything he once lived for is falling apart. It's just the same routine, so why does he seem to be getting worse at it? He tries not to let on to the others. He doesn't to disappoint his family more than he already is. He's barely been in his room a minute when Patton calls him and the others down to dinner. Roman pastes a smile on his face and sits grandly at the kitchen table. It's going to be a very long night.

Logan has nearly perfected the art of making his face a blank slate. No smiles. No frowns. Just empty. It seems shameful that the epitome of logic and order should have emotions. They just don't make any sense. A few years ago, when Logan first began having feelings for Patton, he locked himself in his room for days. He didn't eat or sleep. All he did was stare. It was only when Thomas began to feel the effects that Logan finally emerged. Today, Logan is a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings. He can't stop imagining the worst-case scenarios. What if something happens to his friends? What if something happens to Patton? When Patton knocks on his door and asks for help with dinner, the blank slate is back, almost like a reflex. No one can ever find out.

Virgil can barely get out of bed. He was used to bad days- he hardly ever got a good day- but this was different. He just couldn't stop remembering. _"Hush, now, Virgil, you'll be alright," he said, dragging his dagger slowly, painfully, across Virgil's stomach. This was punishment. It's what he deserved."The light sides don't want you there. They hate you. They'll do anything to get rid of you. You must stay with me," he hissed. "I'm the only one who truly loves you..."_ Virgil sighed and took a peek inside his medicine cabinet. It would be so simple now to- "Virgil, if you don't get down here, I'll eat every last bit of your pasta," Roman shouted from the kitchen. He closed his eyes and put on his signature smirk before sinking down to join the others.

Patton woke up feeling off. He's not sad, he's not angry, he's just nothing. Nevertheless, he gets up and begins his morning. Shower. Get dressed. Brush teeth. Make breakfast. Smile. Wake up Virgil. Dad jokes. Everything is so routine, he doesn't even need to actually be happy. He can just go through the motions. Besides, it's easier to pretend. If he's not happy, who will be? Who will protect his family? He tries baking later in the afternoon, but the only thing it does is make the house smell of cookies. After Logan helps him with dinner, he suggests a movie night, partly because Virgil seemed a bit shaky, but mostly because he wants to try one more time to feel okay again. They all settle down, and Roman turns off the lights. He snuggles into Logan and hopes no one can see that he's crying.

All the sides were acting normal, so why the hell did Thomas feel so bad?

**Author's Note:**

> This was just a really short, really sad one-shot I wrote a while ago to tide you over until I'm done with the next chapter of Intrusive. I'm hoping I can finish Intrusive before the next Sanders Sides video comes out, and I will probably be able to. Sorry there's no happy ending! Follow my Tumblr, omgitsrobertdj for updates on future stories. If you want to request a one-shot, please let me know!


End file.
